Carae's Touch (Long Line of Love, #4) Read online

  "That doesn't mean he's right."

  She sighed. "Maybe not, but he made it fairly clear that he not only doesn't want a serious relationship but doesn't think he deserves one."

  "I know. I was hoping you'd help change his mind."

  "He doesn't want his mind changed."

  "That doesn't mean that you shouldn't try and can't do it."

  "I don't think I can."

  "Do you want to?"

  "If you're asking am I still attracted to him? Yes." She'd thought of him several times each day since they'd met. "Yes, but that doesn't mean I'm willing to risk getting hurt in what would probably be a vain effort to change his mind."

  "I know what I'm asking is probably way out of line, but please hear me out before you make a decision."

  Recalling the level of despair she'd felt in Brandon, she knew common sense dictated that she say no. However, that wouldn't change the strength of the attraction they'd shared from the moment they met.

  "Did he ask you to...does he know you're here?"

  "Does he know I'm here right now? Probably not. He's an honorable guy so he certainly didn't ask me to come. In fact, he asked me not to come."

  "Then what brings you here?"

  "My belief that you can help him."

  She shook her head. "I wish I shared that belief."

  "But you don't?"

  "No. As much as I wish it wasn't true, I think he's beyond my ability to help."

  "I'm not saying it will be easy, but I know you can help him."

  "How can you possibly know that?"

  "Some of my brothers and I have what our mother called ancient gifts. Brandon often knows things he shouldn't when he touches people. My brother Declan has a healing touch. In another time, he might have been a medicine man. I sometimes know when certain people are a match for each other. I know he needs you and I know you can help him. What I don't know is if you're willing to put yourself at risk to do it. If you are, I promise you'll find him worth the effort. He's a good man who won't stray and one who will leave you in no doubt about how he feels. He's more than financially secure and able to give you a very comfortable lifestyle. And if you're looking for a man who won't want anyone else once he gives you his heart, he's your man."

  "You almost make it sound as if you're trying to arrange a marriage between us."

  He shook his head. "I can't guarantee that's how things will work out for you, but I can tell you I know you're a good fit for each other. What you two choose to do about that is beyond my control. Will you hear me out?"

  The thought of seeing Brandon again held definite appeal. She nodded. "Yes. I will."

  Looking relieved, he reached across the table to squeeze her hand. "Great. Now here's what I can tell you to help—"

  "Tell me about my competition."

  "He's not seeing anyone so you have no competition."

  She thought of the anguish he'd projected when he'd refused to talk to her about his lost love. "Oh, yes I do. I want to know about her."

  "Her?" He released her hand and sat back in his seat. "You mean Rissa?"

  "Was that her name?"

  "Yes."

  "What can you tell me about her?"

  "What has he told you?"

  "Enough to make me think hoping for any relationship with him is a waste of both of our times and emotions."

  He shook his head. "As a twin yourself, you'll understand that I can't and won't overstep certain boundaries."

  "And of course, discussing her is included within such boundaries?"

  "Yes, but please believe that if I didn't know you could be good for each other that I wouldn't ask you to risk getting hurt."

  "So you're admitting I might get hurt?"

  "There's always that possibility, but I promise you that he'll bend over backwards not to hurt you."

  She sighed. "I actually believe that."

  "Good. Then you're onboard?"

  "As you must know, he has a very invasive touch and—"

  "I can teach you some techniques to temper that somewhat."

  "Only somewhat? I'm not sure I like the idea of knowing he can touch me and know things about me I don't want him to know."

  "He has very powerful abilities. That's one of the reasons he's so successful. He only has to shake someone's hands to know if they're honest. Blocking him all together is going to be beyond my ability to teach you, but I can teach you enough to make him realize he's doing something he shouldn't with you."

  "So you're telling me he's going to know I've been out enjoying myself instead of waiting for him to call?"

  "Only if he makes a conscious effort to. His touch isn't always invasive. Sometimes it's just a touch. Please tell me you'll give him another chance."

  "I'll consider it, but only after I spend a few weeks deciding if I want to risk my heart."

  "Meaning what?"

  "Meaning I'm going to spend the next few weeks exploring my romantic options and hopefully having a ball. If I'm still interested in him after that, I'll let you know."

  "I see. Well, just so you know, I don't give up easily. If I don't hear from you in a few weeks, you'll find me sitting outside your building pressing the case for giving him another chance."

  She smiled. "Understood."

  Chapter Four

  In an effort to suppress the urge to seek out Carae, Brandon remained in New York for weeks. During that time he had several dates, but went home alone to end each night thinking of Rissa and Carae.

  He resisted his brothers' attempts to get him to come home because he suspected they were plotting to throw him and Carae together and he didn't trust himself not to succumb to his desire for her.

  One morning after he'd spent two straight weekends in New York, he woke to find Bancroft sitting on the bed beside him staring at the picture of Rissa that hung opposite his bed. "Damn, but she was beautiful."

  Yes she was. So why was she haunting his nightmares while Carae starred in his increasingly erotic fantasies? Recalling the graphic dream where he'd undressed Carae, spanked her ass until it felt almost hot to the touch and sucked and nibbled her breasts while thrusting his cock greedily and alternately into her pussy and ass without the benefit of protection of a condom, a wave of guilt washed over him.

  How could he be so driven by lust for a woman who deserved far more than he could ever give her because he could never love her or any other woman?

  He closed his eyes and rolled onto his stomach so he wouldn't have to look at Rissa's picture. As he did, the ring on the chain he wore bit uncomfortably into his neck.

  He felt Bancroft's hand on his shoulder, offering silent sympathy and comfort. Although they had very different personalities and spiritual gifts and at times he'd felt more in tune with Layton, the bond between him and Bancroft was strong. He knew Bancroft was devoted to him and hurt when he hurt, which had been every day since Rissa's murder.

  "Tell me what you're feeling so I can share your burden, Hoss."

  "First Rissa and now Carae. When did I turn into a dirty old man lusting for women far too young and innocent to be with me?"

  "No one can help who they fall in love with. Both of them were adults who shared and share the attraction. You have nothing of which to be ashamed."

  "Then why do I feel selfish, jealous, and petty?" he asked. And greedy for a purely physical relationship with Carae that he didn't deserve.

  "You're none of those things," Bancroft said. "You've had part of your soul torn away from you and your spirit almost injured beyond repair. If you were truly selfish and petty, you would have spent the night actually making love to Carae instead of in bed alone, tossing and turning and dreaming of her in such sensual detail I felt your need two bedrooms away."

  He didn't ask how Bancroft knew he'd dreamed of Carae. Sometimes Bancroft just knew things.

  "You were in the midst of a nightmare when I arrived. I tried, but couldn't wake you. All I could do was get in bed and hold you until the worse of it p
assed."

  He sighed. The nightmares were getting more frequent and powerful. "Then you know why I can't touch her," he said.

  "You can't not touch her. Everything happens for a reason, Hoss. Lelia told me she and Carae have been friends for three years. There's a reason Lelia made Carae the first friend she's ever invited to a family party. There's a reason why I felt compelled to talk you into attending when you wanted to spend a quiet Friday at home. There's a reason why you went.

  "More than any of the others, I know how much Rissa meant to you. I know there's a gigantic black hole in your heart and soul. I have a mirroring one in mine because I hurt with you. When she died a part of the light in my life was snuffed out as brutally as her life was because I knew what it would do to you.

  "When I think of her and I often do, I'm filled with despair, regret, and pain. I can't tell you how many bitter tears I've shed for her and will continue to shed until you give me a reason to hope."

  Bancroft didn't need to because Brandon knew. Rissa's death had deadened his feelings and emotions so deeply that he hadn't shed a single tear for her. But he hadn't had to because Bancroft, the other half of him, had cried for them both.

  "Will her death ever stop hurting?" he asked.

  "It can stop with Carae, Hoss, if you let it. Let her in so we can both heal. You must know by now that we're tied together in a way that few twins are. I know I won't find love until you do. Don't condemn us both to a life devoid of romantic happiness by turning away from her.

  "I know what I'm asking won't be easy, but it's time. Rissa loved you with her entire being. You know that and knowing that you must know she wouldn't want you to live a life devoid of happiness. You can honor her memory and her love for you by reaching out and grabbing the happiness waiting for you with Carae."

  More likely he'd end up hurting and disillusioning her as he'd done with Rissa, the love of his life. He shook his head.

  Bancroft sighed. "Come home, Hoss. Please."

  "I can't. Not until I get Carae out of my system."

  "Even if you stay here ten years, that's not going to happen."

  "And why not?"

  "I think we both know why not."

  "If you're implying I have some finer feelings for her—"

  "If you're implying that you don't, don't bother because we both know better. She's so perfect for you, Rissa's spirit might have sent her to you."

  "She is perfect. Why don't you—"

  "I have no more romantic interest in her than you'd have in her sister, Hoss. She's yours. Reach out and take her."

  He shook his head and rolled onto his stomach. "I'm not going to touch her, Croft. So leave it and while you're at it, go home and leave me in peace."

  "Is that what you want?"

  "Yes. It is," he said and kept his eyes closed until he fell asleep again.

  When he woke, he was alone in the apartment. Alone with his warring thoughts of Rissa and Carae.

  Two weeks later, Layton called one night and put Malita on the phone.

  "Uncle Daddy!"

  He smiled. "Hi, sweetheart! How are you?"

  "I miss you. I want to see you. Come see us, Uncle Daddy? Please?"

  "Of course I will."

  "When? Soon, please."

  "I'll be home this weekend."

  "And you'll come to see us?"

  "Of course. Now it's probably past your bedtime."

  "Daddy said I could stay up to talk to you."

  "I'll see you soon, sweetheart. Now let me speak to your daddy."

  "Love you."

  "I love you too, sweetheart."

  "So?"

  He compressed his lips when he heard Layton's voice. "That should have been beneath you, Hawk," he said, annoyed that he'd used his fondness for Malita against him.

  "When it comes to looking out for one of my siblings, nothing is beneath me and she's been asking about you for weeks. You've never gone this long without seeing them, Hoss."

  "I've spoken to them both at least once every week."

  "At their age, seeing is what counts. They both miss you, but you know she's more attached to you than Brandon is. So what are you planning to do about seeing them?"

  "I'll be home this weekend."

  "When?"

  "Friday night after work. Satisfied?"

  "Far from it, but it's a start. I'll see you sometime this weekend, Hoss."

  "Give Temp and Brandon my love."

  "I will."

  "And don't count your damned chickens before they hatch!" he said and hung up.

  * * *

  After several weeks out spending every weekend clubbing, Carae sat at 30th Street Station watching the arrival board for an inbound train from New York. Even though she'd only been waiting thirty minutes, by the time Brandon walked up the stairs from the boarding platform, she felt as if she'd waited a lifetime to see him again.

  Although she still wasn't sure she'd made the right decision, she couldn't deny she was happy to see him. Smiling, she picked up her suitcase and rose. As she walked after him, she realized that he wasn't alone. A tall, slender blonde walked at his side.

  Narrowing her gaze, she increased her stride. "Brand—sweetie. Back here, sweetie," she called.

  He glanced over his shoulder, saw her, stopped, spoke briefly to the woman, and then quickly walked towards her.

  He stopped within a few feet of her. "Carae!" He smiled. "Hi, hon..."

  "Go on," she said. "Finish your greeting."

  "I did," he said.

  "No, you didn't. You were about to call me honey or sweetheart, or darling, or light of your life or whatever you call the special woman in your life."

  He lowered his lids. "And the special woman in my life would be?"

  "Me," she said. "Who else?"

  "What are you doing here, Carae?"

  "Aren't you happy to see me, Brandon?"

  "I think you know that I am," he said with a quiet assurance that sent a thrill through her. "Actually, I thought...I was afraid..."

  "What did you think or fear, Brandon?"

  "That I'd scared you away."

  "I thought you had too, but here I am."

  "Yes. You are." He smiled again and for a moment, she almost expected him to lean forward to hug or kiss her. "If you're so happy to see me—"

  "I am."

  "Then a more important question would be who is that woman you're with?"

  "I can multitask."

  "Meaning what?"

  "I can be happy to see you and still give her a ride home."

  "Is that all you're doing with her?"

  "Yes, Carae. That's all."

  She sighed. "Thank you, Brandon."

  "For what?"

  "For not stating the obvious; that you don't owe me an explanation."

  "I have no problem giving you one, Carae. Now, what brings you here?"

  "Like her, I need a ride. Can you give me one?"

  "Where are you going?"

  "The night we met, you were gung ho to take me anywhere I wanted to go. In fact, I remember you singing that no place was too remote to go for me."

  "That was a line in a song."

  "So you're saying you didn't mean it?"

  "I didn't say that, Carae, but—"

  "But what? Either you meant it or you didn't. If you did, fine. If you didn't, don't go around singing about love at first sight. You damn sure don't sing Barry White to a woman on a first date."

  "It wasn't a date—"

  "It felt like one with you singing one sexy love song after another. In fact, every song you sang was a love song. So don't tell me you weren't singing and making love to me with your voice because you were!"

  "Carae—"

  "Did you mean it, Brandon?"

  "Yes. Of course I'll drive you home or anywhere else you want to go." He reached down to pick up her suitcase. "Are you going home?"

  She gave him a noncommittal smile.

  "Come meet Alexis."

&n
bsp; When he turned, she fell into step beside him. "Does she know?"

  "Does she know what?"

  "That you're mine."

  He glanced at her.

  She couldn't read the expression in his gaze but was satisfied that he hadn't taken issue with her assertion.

  When they drew even with the blonde, he turned to her. "Alexis Smythe, Carae Harrington."

  Sensing the unmistakable dislike the other woman projected at her, Carae was tempted to slip her arm through Brandon's. Almost as if he knew of her intention, he stepped away from her.

  She smiled at the other woman who looked as if she had just walked off a catwalk. "Nice to meet you."

  "And you," she said in a cool voice before looking at Brandon.

  "Carae needs a lift as well," he said. He gestured towards the exit. "Ladies."

  The three of them walked forward in silence.

  At the exit doors, he turned to look at them both. "If you'll wait in here, I'll stand outside until my car is brought around," he said.

  The moment Brandon walked out the exit, the other woman turned a cool stare on Carae. "So. You're a friend of Lelia's."

  "What makes you say that?"

  She looked surprised by the question. "You're clearly not a friend of Brandon's or of any of his brothers. That leaves Lelia."

  Although annoyed by the implication that Brandon couldn't possibly have a romantic interest in her, she smiled. "If you believe that, you'd be shocked to know that I woke with hickies all over my neck the morning after we met."

  "I find that difficult to believe."

  Carae widened her smile. "I'm sure you do, since you've probably never enjoyed such a pleasure with him."

  She laughed. "Don't be so naive. At the risk of sounding unkind, you're just not in his league. If what you say happened, I'm sure he was just curious about life on the other side."

  Carae arched a brow, shaking her head slowly. "It must be awful to be so delusional."

  Before the other woman could respond, Brandon opened the door. "Ladies."

  She turned and pushed past Carae to walk out the door first.

  By the time Carae followed, she was slipping into the front passenger seat of the door Brandon held open.

  He closed the door before opening the rear door on the passenger side for her.

  Carae gave him a cool stare.