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I will never leave you again!
He had broken his promise to her— again. The first time he’d failed her he’d had the excuse of having had his memory erased. He had no such excuse for this latest failure.
Oh, damn. He’d been a fool. He was going to have to find a way to make amends for having failed her yet again.
He rose from his damp bedding and walked through the dark condo. In the living room, he sank down onto the sofa and finally slept.
The incessant ringing of his doorbell awakened him the next afternoon He groaned and sat up on the sofa. His mouth felt dry. His head ached—as did his heart.
The ringing of his phone was added to the noise level created by the doorbell. Ignoring them both, he made his way to the bedroom and fell across the bed.
Moments later, he heard movement along the hall. He sat up just as Mick appeared in his bedroom doorway, the spare set of keys Trey had given him dangling from his fingers. Trey frowned. “What do you want?”
Mick came into the room and sat beside him on the bed. “Look, I’ve given you a week to feel sorry for yourself. That’s more time than you can afford to waste wallowing in self-pity. Now—”
He shot to his feet and stood over Mick. “Feel sorry for myself? Self-pity?”
“Yes!” Mick rose and faced him. “Sorry for yourself. You know something, Trey? You are one sorry bastard! The woman you love needs you and what do you do? You walk out on her! That’s what I call one sorry bastard.”
“She’s having another man’s baby! What the hell did you expect me to do?”
“Well, hell, Trey, that depends on how you feel. If she was just a good lay, walk out on her at the first sign of trouble. If you love her, stick by her. She needs you, Trey. Do the right thing. Go back!”
He pushed past Mick. “I am going back!”
“Then what are you doing here?”
“I’m going back. I just need time to adjust.”
“You need time and she needs support now. Don’t blow this any more than you already have, Trey.”
“Where the hell do you get off coming here telling me how I should feel?”
“I’m your friend. I’ve watched you torture yourself for a week and that’s long enough. Let’s be straight about something, Trey. This is partly your fault.”
“The hell it is!”
“The hell it is! If you hadn’t blown it earlier, this would be your baby and not his. If you had called her after the accident, this wouldn’t have happened. It was a mistake to allow all that time to pass without calling her. What the hell was she supposed to think but that it was over? You knew you planned to pursue her, but she didn’t know it. Now when it comes time to pay for your stupid mistake, you want to go off and wallow in self-pity! Grow up, Trey, and take responsibility for your mistakes!”
“If mistakes were made, they were hers and hers alone.”
“Really?” Mick put a hand on his shoulder. “Your mistakes are piling up. It was also a mistake to leave her. Don’t make yet another mistake by not going back now. It’s not too late to show her you really do love her. Go back and support her.”
He pushed Mick away. “I said I was going, didn’t I?”
“When? When too much time has passed and she can’t forget or forgive your not being there for her? And don’t tell me she’ll wait because we both know where that reasoning got you the first time.”
Trey flushed.
“Go back, Trey. Now. Please.”
“I can’t. I—”
“If you love her—”
“I do.”
“Prove it! Be there for her when she needs you!”
“What the hell do you expect me to do?”
“I expect you to get your sorry ass over to her place and apologize. Make her believe you love her, marry her, and raise the baby as yours.”
“You think it’s that easy?”
“I know it’s not easy, but I know how it hurts to lose someone you love when you’ve let opportunities pass that you can never take advantage of again. I was too busy working and building the business to be there to read Kelly a bedtime story. There was going to be plenty of time to tuck her in when the business was established. Well you know how well that reasoning worked for me!”
He stared at Mick, seeing the anguish it his friend’s eyes. He knew Mick was never going to forgive himself what he viewed as his parental negligence. “What happened to Kelly wasn’t your fault, Mick.”
“No, but not being there for her when she was scared of the bogeyman was my fault.”
“You did what you needed to do to make a better life for her.”
Mick shook his head. “I made a mistake in thinking it was more important to provide financial advantages than emotional ones for her. I’ll always regret that mistake. Please don’t blow what you have with Carlee. Swallow your damned pride, your pain, and your ego. Go back now!”
He clasped a hand on the back of Mick’s neck. “You’re right. I’m sorry for—”
Mick shook his head. “This is not about my loss. This is about your not burning bridges you can’t easily rebuild.”
Trey remembered the bitter words he and Carlee had exchanged. More importantly, he recalled Carlee’s pleas for him not to leave her. Pleas he had ignored out of a selfish sense of righteous indignation. “Shit! I’ve probably already burned them. She said she wouldn’t forgive me if I left.”
“And if you go back anyway, knowing that, that’ll say something about how you feel about her. She’ll probably make you beg, but so what?”
So what indeed? What did pride matter if it kept him from the only woman he’d ever loved? He nodded. “You’re right. I’ll go.”
Mick swung him around, a brow arched. “You’re smelling a little ripe there. Shave and shower first.”
He laughed, and then sighed. “God, I’ve been such an idiot!”
“Yes you have. So you tell her that and make her believe it.”
“What if she won’t—”
“What if you go beg for forgiveness until she grants it? That’s all you can do.”
Chapter Thirteen
Returning from a late afternoon walk with Danny, Carlee spotted Trey’s car in her driveway. She came to an abrupt halt. The driver’s side door of his car opened and he got out.
Silence ensued. Danny tugged on his leash. She looked down. His tail wagged from side to side. She released his leash. Danny ran over, stood on his hind legs, and placed his front paws against Trey’s chest, licking his face.
Leaving the two of them standing in the driveway, she unlocked the side door and went inside. She hesitated, then closed but didn’t lock the door. Legs shaking and heart thumping, she went to the living room and sank onto the love seat.
An eternity later she heard the side door open and close. Danny entered the room, put his paws on her legs, and looked into her face.
She gave him a quick hug. “I’m fine,” she told him.
He licked her face and neck before jumping down and lying on the floor in front of the window.
“Can I come in?”
She looked up. Trey stood in the doorway, an uncertain look on his face. Still numb, she didn’t take time to examine her feelings. “Why are you here?”
“I came to ask you to forgive me. I don’t have any excuse for my behavior. I can only say I’m sorry.”
“Sorry? You shatter my world, practically call me a tramp, and then you expect to waltz back into my life with a sorry ass apology? I don’t think so, Trey! You know what the last week has shown me? I don’t need you! Sam and I will be just fine without your fickle affections.”
He blanched. “Sam?”
She touched her stomach. “I’m not only keeping my baby, I’m naming him or her after Sam.”
He shrugged. “I’m sure he would have liked that.”
“Like you care about anything or anyone but what you want! You walk away from me and stay gone for two months and then when I turn to a man who loves me,
you call me nasty names! I waited a lifetime for you! Several lifetimes. And when you finally do show up, all you do is hurt me!”
She saw his Adam’s Apple bob up and down. He leaned back against the wall near the door. “I know and I don’t know how I’m going to make it up to you, but I promise you I will spend the rest of my life trying.”
She shook her head. “I don’t want anything from you, Trey! Please leave.”
“You might not want anything from me, but I need something from you.” He crossed the room and knelt in front of her. “I need you to forgive me. In addition to being an idiot, I know I’ve said hurtful things. I am so sorry.”
“And what if I don’t care?”
He sat on his haunches. “You have to. I made a promise to you a long time ago that I am now prepared to keep.”
“What promise?”
“When my father caught up with me that night—”
She sucked in a breath. “You really do remember!”
He nodded. “Yes. And I remember promising you I would find you and when I did I would never leave you again.”
She closed her eyes on a flood of tears as the horror and pain of being snatched away from her mother and Trey pushed its way up through the layers of memory to her conscious mind. After sobbing about that night in Dr. Cheyenne’s office several years earlier, she had pushed all the pain and fear of that night and the life that followed back into her subconscious.
She shook her head and stared at him. “But you did. Nothing has changed, Trey. I am still pregnant with Sam’s baby and I am still keeping Sam. And you are still jealous of my feelings for him!”
He nodded. “You’re right. I am jealous of him. Maybe I always will be a little jealous, but that doesn’t change the fact that you are the only woman I have ever loved. I fell in love with you when you were fifteen back in Virginia and I have never really loved anyone else.”
“Well I have! I loved Sam!”
He dropped his gaze. “I know.”
“So why are you here?”
He sighed and looked up at her. “As you know by now, I’m far from perfect. But I do love you, Carlee. It’s been so long since I’ve been in love, I’ve forgotten how to behave. Forgive me and I promise you a lifetime of devotion.”
“And what do you expect from me?”
“All I want from you is forgiveness and a little understanding.” He leaned forward, taking one of her hands in his. He pushed it under her sweat top, resting it on her swelling stomach. A tingle shot down her spine at his touch. “If you give me a chance to make amends, I will love and cherish you both.”
Tears tightened her throat. “Both of us?”
“Yes. You and Sam.”
“Before I allow you to hurt my baby emotionally, I’ll walk away from you with no regrets. There is no one in the world more important to me than this baby, Trey.”
He sighed. “I understand.”
“Do you?”
He nodded. “Yes. I’ve always understood that. It was just hard to come to terms with the fact that you’re having another man’s baby.”
“And now?”
He shrugged. “Sam is a part of you and I will love him or her just as I do you.”
She blinked but the tears rolled down her cheeks. “Are you sure? It’s so easy for you to hurt me, Trey! I won’t have Sam hurt.”
He caressed her stomach. “I know. I know, sweet. I promise I will treat you both gently if you’ll just forgive me. Give me another chance to make things right.”
“I want to believe you, but—”
“Please. You don’t have to make any promises. Just give me a chance to prove myself. That’s all I ask. Just give me another chance and I promise—”
She pressed her fingers against his lips. “No, Trey. No more promises that you may not be able to keep.”
He kissed her fingers before removing them from his mouth. “I’ve learned my lesson. I will never leave you again.”
“Trey…”
He rose and lifted her to her feet. When he drew her close, she pressed her cheek against his shoulder, allowing her tears to flow freely.
She bit her lip, aching with love for him.
He led her to her bedroom. She made no protest when he drew her down onto the bed with him.
“I love you, I love you.” He chanted the words, stroking his hands over her back in a way that made her feel cherished and protected.
Only a fool would trust him again. But how could she muster the strength to send him away when she needed him so badly? And although she had been prepared to live her life without him, she knew she’d be much happier living with him.
“I love you too,” she whispered.
He tipped up her chin and stared down at her. “Does that mean you forgive me and will give me another chance?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, thank God!” He tightened his arms around her, burying his face against her neck. His body shook and she felt dampness against her neck.
She caressed his hair. “Trey? Trey, are you all right?”
He lifted his head and she saw tears in the beautiful blue eyes she had so long adored. “I’m so sorry I hurt you, sweet. I never meant to.”
She nodded. “I know and I should have tried to see things from your perspective, but—”
“No. Don’t make any excuses for me. I was wrong and I’m so sorry.”
She smiled, leaning forward to kiss his lips. “So where do we go from here?”
“That depends.”
She tensed. “On what?”
“On how soon you’ll marry me.”
“Marry you? You want to marry me?”
His eyes widened. “I’ve wanted to marry you since you were a nappy headed fifteen-year-old who got me all hot and bothered every time I thought of you.”
“Who the hell are you calling nappy headed?” she demanded without heat.
“You.” He brushed his lips against her cheek. “Have I told you lately that I’m partial to nappy heads?”
An almost forgotten memory of him kissing and stroking his hands over her short, natural hair surfaced. “I think you’ve mentioned it a time or two—a very long time ago.”
“So what do you say? Will you marry me?” His slow, insistent kiss smothered the “yes” trembling on her lips.
His tongue touched hers. A shudder of desire shot through her. She sobbed against his lips, raking her hands along his back.
He lifted his head and looked down at her. “I love you so much. Will you marry me?”
She nodded. “Yes! Yes!”
“You’re sure?”
“I’m very sure. I’ve waited several lifetimes for this moment, but I never really thought it would happen.”
“Why not?”
She sighed. “How could I even dream that we could ever get married when we first fell in love?”
“I couldn’t marry you then, but I can now. When will you marry me?”
“Soon, but right now, there’s something else I need from you.”
His blue eyes glittered with desire. “Really? I wonder what that could be.”
She rolled onto her back, parting her legs. He rose and stripped down to his briefs. He leaned over the bed to remove her shoes, socks, and sweat bottoms. Kissing a path up over her belly, he pulled her top off. He removed her bra and panties more quickly.
She lay on the bed naked, and needy as he stood staring down at her pussy. “Trey?”
“I need you.” He pressed a series of warm, moist kisses against her pussy before climbing onto the bed.
He slid his body on top of hers, resting his groin against hers. Reaching between their bodies, he grasped his cock, pressed it against her wet slit, and pushed forward. As his cock slid deep into her pussy, she closed her eyes. Oh, yes. Yes. At long last she had everything she had ever wanted. All the long lonely years were in the past and the future would be filled with a lifetime of love and passion. That more than compensated for all the heartache and pai
n she’d suffered in the past.
Epilogue
A year later, Carlee woke alone in the bed. She glanced at the bedside clock. One a.m. Yawning, she got out of bed and crossed the room to the open bedroom door. Halfway there, she paused to scoop the dark blue shirt Trey had worn the previous day from a pile on the floor. Pushing the tangle of clothes they had quickly discarded earlier aside, she walked down the hall and stepped through the open door of the adjourning bedroom.
Trey, wearing a pair of pajama bottoms, sat on the window seat of the room. He looked up, placing a finger against his lips to indicate Carlee should be silent.
Smiling, she crossed the room and sat beside him. “Is she asleep?”
Trey nodded, his gaze on the sleeping baby cradled in the crook of his arm.
She smiled. Nae-nae, or as Trey insisted on calling her, Sami, was the apple of Trey’s eye. In the four months since her birth, Carlee had lost track of the number of times she’d awaken to find Trey standing over Nae-nae’s basinet, stroking a finger down her cheek and telling her that one day she was going to be even more gorgeous than her mother.
She spoke softly, stroking his arm. “Then put her down and come back to bed, Trey.”
“In a moment. I just want to hold her a few moments longer.”
She gave him an indulgent smile. “You’ll spoil her rotten with this constant holding.”
He looked at her. In the moonlight streaming through the window, she noted the expression of adoration and wonder he had been wearing since the moment he first held Nae-nae after her birth. “I can’t believe how incredible she is. She’s so small and perfect and she looks so much like you.”
Carlee nodded, offering yet another silent prayer of thanksgiving that Nae-nae had taken after her instead of Sam. She twirled the wedding and engagement rings on her finger. “She might look like me, but I have a feeling she’s going to be all daddy’s girl.”
He grinned. “Yes.” He stroked Nae-nae’s cheek. “She is going to be daddy’s girl.”
“Just like her mommy.” She leaned closed and kissed the corner of his mouth. “Come back to bed and fuck her mommy.”
He rose and gently placed Nae-nae back in her basinet. He spent several moments tucking her in before he stood close to Carlee. “Ahhh. Greedy mommy wants some more cock?” He whispered the words against her ear, as if he were afraid Nae-nae would hear.