Carae's Touch (Long Line of Love, #4) Page 17

  "No. She hasn't even told me she's pregnant."

  Layton frowned. "Then what makes you think you're not the father?"

  "The fact that she hasn't told me."

  "And that's the only reason you think she's...wait a minute. What do you mean like Rissa?"

  He shook his head.

  "Are you implying that Rissa was pregnant by someone else?"

  "I'm not implying it," he said.

  He heard all three of his brothers sigh in relief. "Good," Layton said.

  "I wasn't implying it. I was saying it. Like Rissa, I'm sure it happened when we weren't exactly on good terms...when they weren't sure things were going to work out for us, but that doesn't make it any easier to bear since I never strayed during those down times with either one of them."

  "Carae hasn't strayed. The baby is yours," Declan said.

  He stared at Declan. "Are you sure?"

  Declan nodded. "I knew when we shook hands. It's yours."

  "Then why hasn't she told me?"

  Declan shrugged. "There are any number of reasons why a woman might not tell the father she's pregnant."

  He inhaled slowly. "The main reason being she's not planning to keep the baby. Is that what you're telling me?"

  "I'm telling you there are many reasons a woman might not tell the father. I didn't get any sense that she wanted or planned to do anything but have the baby."

  He felt a level of relief that shook him. "Thank God."

  Layton crossed the room and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Now what's this with Rissa?"

  He hesitated before he took a deep, shuddering breath. "You know that she was still alive when I found her. What I never told any of you was what she said seconds before she died."

  "And what was that?"

  "She...she said the baby wasn't mine."

  Bancroft shook his head. "I can't believe that."

  "Neither can I," Declan said. "She loved you as much as you loved her. There's no way she slept with another man."

  "I wish I could believe that, but she was dying when she said it. I don't know who she slept with, but the baby wasn't mine."

  Layton squeezed his shoulder. "You must have misunderstood her."

  "I know what she said."

  "I'm sure she never cheated on you, Hoss," Bancroft said.

  "I never thought she cheated. We weren't exactly a couple at the time, but it still hurts knowing she didn't tell me and give me the chance to tell her that it wouldn't have mattered. I would have married her anyway and loved them both."

  The relief he felt having finally admitted that Rissa had strayed made him realize he should have shared his anguish and pain with them much sooner instead of keeping it bottled inside where it festered and made him emotionally ill.

  He wouldn't have been surprised had Layton or Bancroft chided him for his failure to be honest with them sooner.

  "I still think you're mistaken about Rissa. However, you can't change the past, Hawk, but you still have control over what happens with Carae," Bancroft said. "You've taken a big first step by giving Rissa's pictures to us for safekeeping, but it's time to take the next step. Tell her how you feel."

  "I will...I just need a little more time."

  "I'm not sure how much time you have before she pulls away for good," Declan said.

  "You invaded her thoughts," he said, annoyed.

  Declan sighed, looked briefly away, and then nodded slowly. "Yes, I did, but I promise you that I made no attempt to influence her in any way."

  "Where the hell did you get off doing that, Declan?"

  "I know I shouldn't have, but it was a brother's privilege. I felt your turmoil and my concern for you overshadowed my better judgement. I probed, but I didn't influence her in anyway...as you'll soon see."

  He inhaled quickly. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

  "It means you're running out of time with her. I was tempted, but I didn't do anything to change that. You're running the risk of losing her if you don't make a move soon."

  "If she doesn't care enough to give me a little more time..."

  "What?" Layton asked. "You'll risk losing her? Are you out of your damned mind? How many times do you think you're going to fall in love with someone who loves you too?"

  He rounded on Layton. "But does she if she can't or won't give me the understanding I need? And even if she and I work things out now, do we really have a hope in hell of making it work long term? We have nothing in common. Nothing. She likes clubbing and—"

  "So what? If you love each other, you make concessions and a real effort to understand and support each other and embrace your individual differences. That's what Tempest and I do. It's not always easy, but it strengthens our love and ensures we keep working to stay in love...not that there's any chance of my falling out of love with her.

  "Yes, the fact that Carae is younger almost ensures you have different interests, but that doesn't have to be a stumbling block. View it as a challenge and another way to show her how you feel. And let's face it, Hoss, given your age and the fact that you want kids, a younger woman is more ideal than one closer to your age. View her age as a plus instead of a negative."

  "Just don't leave it too much longer," Declan said.

  "I know what you're saying makes sense and I've already taken steps..."

  "But?" Layton asked.

  "But I have to do this in my...when it feels right."

  "Why wouldn't it feel right now, Hawk? Because you're afraid to admit that your feelings for Carae are comparable to or even more powerful than your feelings for Rissa were?"

  "I didn't say that."

  "Don't forget who you're talking to," Bancroft reminded him.

  He had a feeling that Tempest and Benai were doing their best to talk Carae into giving him a little more breathing room. He walked over to the pool table. "All our cards are on the table and you've all had your say. I have a lot to think about, but right now, I feel like playing pool."

  "And that's it?" Layton demanded.

  "No, that's not it, Hawk, but I just don't want or need to talk about this anymore. I know what I need to do."

  "I hope to God that you're going to do it while she's still receptive."

  "If she loves me, she'll give me a little more room. If she doesn't, it's better that I discover that sooner rather than later."

  Layton shook his head. "God, I hope she loves you enough to overlook the fact that you're a first class ass."

  "And the fact that you're expecting her to prove her love while not feeling the need to prove yours," Bancroft said.

  He stared at Bancroft. "Is that how you see things?"

  "I'm betting that's how she sees it and that's what counts."

  Chapter Twelve

  Driving to dinner three hours later, Brandon noted how quiet Carae was. "Are you all right?" he asked as he held the restaurant door open for her.

  "This is probably as good as it's going to get," she said.

  Damn. They didn't speak again until they were seated opposite each other at one of his favorite restaurants. "I need to talk to you," she said.

  He sipped his seltzer water. "I'm listening."

  "Not here."

  His anticipation rose. Was she finally ready to tell him she was pregnant? "Would you like to change our order to take out and go home to talk?"

  She shook her head. "No, we need to talk, but I'm not sure how you're going to react to what I have to tell you."

  Sensing her need for reassurance, he reached across the table to place his hand over hers. "You can tell me anything, Carae."

  "I hope you mean that, Brandon."

  "I do," he assured her, eager to make it as easy as possible for her to tell him she was pregnant.

  "Then let's have dinner first. We can talk later in private."

  He resisted the urge to insist she confide in him immediately and sat through

  what felt like the longest hour and a half of his life. Finally, they left the restauran
t and he sat on the love seat in his living room watching her pace in front of him. "I'm ready to listen when you're ready to talk," he told her quietly.

  She took a long deep breath and turned to face him. "This is so much harder to say than I thought it would be."

  "Would it help to know how eager I am to hear what you want to tell me?"

  She took another deep breath, shook her head, and spoke slowly. "She asked me to tell you that you misunderstood her."

  Certain that she had been about to tell him she was carrying his baby, her words confused him. He stared at her. "What? I misunderstood who?"

  "When are you going to tell me about her?"

  "What?"

  "When are you going to tell me about Rissa?"

  How the hell had she gone from about to tell him she was pregnant to insisting he talk about Rissa? He sighed. "This isn't the conversation I thought we would be having."

  "It's the one we...I need you to have."

  "I know, but—"

  "Before you say you're still not ready, I think you should know that she thinks it's time."

  He frowned. "Who thinks it's time? Lelia? Tempest? Benai? Who thinks she has the right to dictate when I should discuss anything?"

  "No. Not them.''

  "Then who? I know Avan—"

  "Rissa."

  "What? Who? What did you say?"

  She took a deep breath before turning to meet his gaze. "Rissa."

  "What?!"

  "You're probably going to think I'm nuts, but she's been talking to me."

  "Who's been talking to you?"

  "I know it sounds crazy, but the night you first...were intimate with me, I was sound asleep. She woke me up and urged me to go to your bedroom and she urged me to stay so you could...for the second time. Since then, she's...for lack of a better word, talked to me several times."

  "You're saying Rissa has talk to you?"

  "Oh yes."

  He shook his head. "She's talked to you, but not to me?"

  "She wanted to."

  "Then why haven't I heard from her?"

  "She's tried but she said you weren't open to hearing her."

  Recalling the many months he'd long to hear from her, made nonsense of her claim. "The hell I wasn't."

  "I found that difficult to believe too, but I'm only telling you what she told me. She said your unwillingness to hear her, along with your no longer wearing the ring you never got a chance to give her, was how she knew you were ready to move on with me."

  He stared at her, struggling with emotions he wasn't sure how to handle. He shook his head and turned away.

  She reached out to catch his hand. "There's something else she wanted me to tell you."

  "I don't want to hear it, Carae."

  "I know what I've said has been hard for you to hear, but it's important."

  He pulled his hand from hers. "I said I don't want to hear it and that's what I meant."

  "Brandon, please. She begged me to tell you this."

  The thought that Rissa would reach out to a stranger while shutting him out, hurt far more than he could bear at the moment. That pain made him far less diplomatic than he might otherwise have been. "What part of I don't want to hear it are you having difficulty understanding, Carae?"

  "Are you telling me you're not going to listen to what I need to say to you?"

  "Not if it includes you're trying to tell me what happened between me and Rissa."

  "Please don't misunderstand. That's not what I'm trying to do, Brandon. I'm trying to tell you what she wants you to know."

  "I don't want to hear it."

  She stared at him with a glimmer of tears in her eyes. "Are you serious?"

  "Damn right I am."

  "I do not believe you. Every time I attempt to get close to you, you shove me away. You don't want to hear what I have to say? Fine. I have nothing else to say to you except goodbye."

  He heard the frustration in her voice and knew she was close to being fed up with his inability to deal with his issues. Although he didn't want her to reach the point where she gave up on him completely, he felt a sense of betrayal that Rissa had reached out to her but not him. "Carae, I know this is difficult for you, but—"

  She shook her head. "We've moved beyond difficult. We're now in impossible territory. You were so right and I couldn't have been more wrong. I have news for you. I have issues of my own and can no longer spend my time trying to deal with your excessive baggage. I'm going down to the lobby to call a cab and I'm going home."

  He resisted the urge to ask her to stay. They were clearly incompatible. The sooner he accepted that fact, the sooner they could get over each other. Or so said his mind. His heart had other ideas. "I'll walk you down stairs and wait with you."

  "That won't be necessary."

  "I'll do it anyway," he said coldly. Despite himself, he was annoyed and hurt at how easily she'd thrown in the towel. He followed her into the bedroom.

  She looked at the clothes they'd bought earlier. "Actually, there's nothing of mine here," she finally said.

  "I bought the clothes for you with no strings attached. They're yours to take. Please take them."

  "Are you sure?"

  "Yes. I am."

  He watched her pack. There were so many things he wanted to say to her, but none of them felt appropriate. So even though he knew he was making a mistake, he said nothing. But allowing her to walk away without any effort to show his feelings made no sense.

  The one thing they had in common was their mutual desire. At the moment, that's all he had to fall back on. When she moved to walk past him, he caught her hand and turned her into his embrace. Without giving her much chance to protest, he bent his head and brushed his lips gently against hers.

  Her warm, immediate response lifted his spirits. He kissed her lips slowly, making an effort to keep his passion in check. The goal was to be tender and considerate, hopefully showing her without words how deeply he cared about her. But the feel of her lips and tongue moving against his and her warm curves pressing eagerly against his body, made controlling his desire and need for her difficult.

  Easing her against the wall by the door, he slid his palms down her back and under her clothes to palm her bare ass. When she trembled, he rubbed his body against hers and slowly pushed his tongue between her lips and into her mouth.

  Kissing her with a heated passion that made him burn to be deep inside her, he ground his hips against hers allowing her to feel his cock hardening.

  Sucking on his tongue, she rubbed herself along his shaft while curling her fingers in his hair. The need to be inside her overwhelmed his senses. Releasing her ass, he slid his zipper down allowing him to free his cock.

  Deepening his kiss, he pushed up her skirt, eased her thong aside, and rubbed himself against her stomach.

  She gasped, shuddering.

  Tearing his mouth away from hers, he rubbed his thumb over her clit several times before slipping two fingers inside her. Finding her wet and ready, he eased his fingers out, bent his knees, and slowly pushed his cock deep into the warm, wet pussy he wanted to brand as his exclusive property.

  She moaned, sliding her hands down into his jeans to clutch his ass. Rocking her hips, she forced the last inch or so of him into her tight, sweet pussy.

  Oh fuck. There was no feeling in the world more exquisite or sublime than having his bare cock buried deep within the tight channel of the woman he loved and adored. Overcome with desire, he lifted one of her legs, pressed her against the wall, and wildly thrust in and out of her in a mindless need for satisfaction.

  With her eyes closed and her face lifted, she parted her warm lips, meeting him stroke for stroke. Undulating her beautiful body, she fucked herself on his cock with a single minded purpose that fueled his passion and left him struggling the hold back his climax until she'd come.

  Fingering her clit, he rubbed it hard and fast as they fucked each other with an ever increasing roughness. Just as he feared he cou
ldn't hold back any longer, she finally dug her fingers in his ass, shuddered, and came only seconds before he lost it and jetted his cum inside her.

  Her soft, warm hands caressed his ass, almost as if to encourage him to pump every drop of his seed inside her. If only she cared enough to tell him she was pregnant. But even her failure to confide in him wasn't enough to ruin his mood. With his eyes closed, he leaned against her, taking slow deep breaths in an effort to hold onto the euphoric feeling as long as possible.

  He kept her pressed against the wall with his cock still inside her until she finally pushed against his abs and drew her hips back, allowing his deflating cock to slip from her body.

  When he stepped back, they stared at each other in silence.

  The cool look in her gaze disheartened him. "I hope you don't think that or whatever the hell you were chanting changes anything between us."

  He frowned. "What?"

  "You were speaking Tsalagi and I have no idea what you were saying."

  Neither had he since he hadn't even been aware he'd said anything.

  While he tried to formulate a response, she turned and walked into the master bathroom, closing the door with a decisive firmness. When he heard the water turn on, he went to one of the guest bathrooms to take a quick shower.

  With his hair still damp, he returned to the master bedroom to wait. She left the bathroom ten minutes later.

  Although he wanted to beg her to stay, he remained silent.

  "Will you carry my bags?" she asked.

  He nodded.

  She walked out of the room without speaking again.

  Fuck!

  After deciding that giving her a few days to think things over might be the way to go, he picked up her bags and left the room. They went down to the lobby in silence.

  The urge to hug her and beg her to please bear with him a little longer was difficult to resist as he held the cab door open for her. However, the look in her eyes assured him doing so would be a waste of both their times.

  Nevertheless, once she was seated, he reached in to take both of her hands in his. He kissed them, rubbed each against his cheek, and then stepped back. "I want you. I need you. I do love you," he said.

  "I'll believe that when you're ready to really talk to me, Brandon. Not before."