Carae's Touch (Long Line of Love, #4) Read online

She shook her head. "I'm twenty-eight, not eighteen. But even if I were eighteen, it wouldn't necessarily follow that I wouldn't know how I felt or what I wanted. I know how I feel."

  "And how is that, Carae?"

  She inhaled slowly. "What do you want me to say, Brandon? That I'm in love with you?"

  "Are you?"

  She shrugged and looked away from his searching gaze. "I like to go out clubbing occasionally. I love to dance and I enjoy being with my friends in a relaxed atmosphere, but that doesn't mean you and I...that we can't...that doesn't mean that we're incompatible or that I'm too young for you or that you're too old for me."

  He sighed, nodding. "I think that's exactly what it means, Carae; especially since you deliberately ignored my question about how you feel."

  "I don't recall you speaking about your feelings with any specificity either. So how do you feel?"

  "Like I'm too damned old for you."

  "That's skirting the issue and you know it is."

  "Yes, I do, but we're emotionally incompatible. I'll be forty-three soon so I don't have a lot of time to waste dating unsuitable women while you have lots of time to do that with unsuitable men."

  "What are you saying? That we're back to square one and you intend to admire me from afar?"

  "That's what I need to do—given the fact that I've already hurt you."

  "Is that what you're planning to do?"

  "It's what I'd do if I had a decent bone left in my body."

  "Do you?"

  "Apparently not since that's not what I plan to do," he said.

  "Are you in love with me, Brandon?"

  He stared straight ahead. "Probably."

  She moistened her lips. "Probably?"

  "Yes. Probably."

  "But you're not sure?"

  He turned to look at her. "I've given you the answer I'm comfortable giving."

  "I don't know, but it seems to me that a man your age should know if he's in love or not."

  He nodded slowly. "Yeah. You're right."

  "So are you?"

  "If I say yes, it won't change the fact that I'm too old for you or the fact that I still have a lot of baggage."

  She touched his arm. "And if I admit that I'm in love with you and willing to deal with you and all your baggage?"

  "Are you admitting it?"

  "No. I'm not."

  He leaned over and kissed her neck. "Just so there's no misunderstanding...I probably am in love with you."

  "Yes, well, sweetie, probably doesn't really work for me."

  "There's no reason why it should."

  "So you want to up the ante and delete the probably part?"

  "Why don't we just take things slowly and see how they go?"

  "Because maybe you're not the only one who doesn't have time to waste, Brandon."

  He met her gaze. "Is there something you want to tell me, Carae?"

  For a moment, she stiffened. Had he invaded her thoughts? Did he know? "If you're not interested, there are other men who are."

  He moved away from her, narrowing his gaze. "That sounds like an ultimatum."

  "And if it is?"

  "And if it is, you might like to know that I don't respond well to them."

  "That's good to know. Saves me the trouble of wasting both of our times issuing any. Now I think you were about to take me home."

  "No I wasn't," he said and started the engine.

  "It's where I want to go, Brandon," she said as he drove away.

  "And it's where I'll take you tomorrow night. Right now, some friends of mine are having a barbecue. I'd love you to go with me."

  "Brandon—"

  "Please come with me."

  The fact that he wanted to take her to a function with his friends felt like a step in the right direction—albeit not the declaration she longed for. "Drive on, James."

  "Where am I driving to, Carae?"

  "Wherever you like," she said.

  He sighed in apparent relief. "To my place so you can change and then to the barbecue?"

  "Yes."

  He reached over to touch her thigh. "Thanks."

  In his condo, she dressed and then they got back in his vehicle.

  "Where are we going?"

  "I told you I used to occasionally sing with some friends in a group called Rolling Thunder?"

  "Yes."

  "Well, we've been invited to the family mansion of one of the founders of the Group, the Redwolfes. Max Stoner is barbecuing."

  "Should I know him?"

  "You will after you taste his barbecue. Max has the talent to be a world class chef. He can cook almost anything you can imagine better than almost anyone. So I hope you're hungry."

  "Oh, I'm hungry all right, sweetie."

  He glanced briefly at her before turning his attention back to the road. "So am I. Hopefully, you'll want to do something about our mutual hunger soon."

  That was the problem, she did want to when she probably shouldn't.

  The moment they arrived at the Redwolfe mansion, the most heavenly aroma of barbecue greeted her. "Something smells delicious," she said, as Brandon opened her door and offered her his hand.

  "You're in for a treat, but I hope you'll save some of your appetite for dessert tonight."

  Standing so close to him with the scent of his cologne intoxicating her senses, she closed her eyes and briefly leaned against him. "Feeling horny, sweetie?"

  "You have no idea," he said, kissed her neck, took her hand in his, and walked her around the house to the back. Twenty or so people lounged around a large, in ground pool.

  Although everyone there was older than she, the three Redwolfe wives made her feel comfortable. Desiree Redwolfe, an average looking, full-figured woman, was very friendly and encouraging. "It's great to see Brandon finally dating," she said as she and Carae lay on loungers.

  Brandon and three other men stood several yards away. Two of them held babies while a tall, dark haired man with gorgeous, long dark hair pulled back from a handsome face flipped burgers on one of two grills.

  "I don't know if we're actually dating. He insists he's 'too damned old for me' and that he has too much baggage."

  "And yet here you two are together."

  "I know, but honestly, every time I think we're getting somewhere, he backs off. Despite all his talk of adoring me from the moment we met, he seems still so stuck on Rissa."

  "Believe me, I feel you. Before Conner and I were married, he was...he'd only been in love once before and didn't think he'd ever fall in love again. And he was lugging a lot of baggage around. Sound familiar?"

  "Unfortunately it does. Is it a Native American thing?"

  Desiree laughed. "Who knows? I just know I fell for Conner the moment I saw him, but the feeling was not mutual and he almost broke my heart before he finally saw the light. For a while there, I thought I'd be raising our son, CJ, alone or with Max."

  "Max?" Carae glanced towards the grille. "You don't mean that Max. Do you?"

  She nodded. "It's a long story. If you feel like being bored to tears some time, I'll tell you about it. But the short version is that when Conner was being a first-class ass, Max was my rock. We call our son CJ, but his name is Conner Maxvillion. If things hadn't worked out for me and Conner, he might have wanted to be more."

  "Would you have wanted him to?"

  Desiree shrugged. "I don't know. I'd loved Conner from the moment we met and I ached for him, but as you can see Max is a sexy, supportive, thoughtful hunk. And lord, can he cook! So who knows?" She looked at Carae. "I know it can't be easy for you, but don't give up without really giving yourself a chance to help Brandon heal."

  "I'm not sure how much time I have to waste trying to win him."

  Desiree cast a brief glance at her stomach. "Are you...?"

  She moistened her lips before finally nodding. "Yes. How did you know?"

  "Maybe because I was in the same situation and afraid to tell Conner. I guess I recognize the signs. Am I right i
n assuming he doesn't know yet?"

  "I'm waiting for the right moment to tell him."

  "Things must be very rough for you." Desiree squeezed her hand. "If you need to talk, please feel free to call me anytime you like."

  "Thanks."

  "Now. Would you like to meet my son?"

  "I'd love to," she said.

  Desiree rose, walked over to one of the men holding a baby and returned with a little boy. "Now, admittedly, I'm completely biased and Conner's twin Adrian has a cute baby, but I ask you, have you ever seen a more adorable little boy?" She demanded.

  Personally, Carae thought both Redwolfe boys looked as much alike as their identical twin fathers. However, she smiled, stroking his cheek. "Never!" she affirmed.

  "I knew the moment I saw you that you were intelligent and would know the best looking little boy in the world when you saw him."

  The two women shared a warm laugh.

  Brandon looked in their direction, broke away from the others, and walked over to kneel by her lounger.

  Desiree touched her arm. "You have my number. We'll talk again?"

  She nodded. "I'd like that. Thanks."

  Desiree smiled and rose. Carae watched her walk over to a tall, handsome male with blue eyes who smiled and immediately put his arm around her shoulders.

  Everything about his attitude suggested he more than adored his wife.

  "I envy her."

  "Why? Are you interested in Conner?" Brandon asked.

  "No. Of course not...not that it would do any good if I did want him. Have you noticed the way he looks at her? Clearly he really loves and adores her...and her alone."

  He took her chin in his hand and turned her to face him. "He does."

  Carae sighed. "I'd like to know what it feels like to be so adored."

  He released her chin and lowered his lids, concealing his expression. "Can I interest you in a picnic for two, brown eyes?"

  She glanced at Desiree and Conner again. Oh to have Brandon look at her like he was looking at Desiree—as if his entire world revolved around her.

  "Carae?"

  She blinked and turned her gaze back to Brandon. "I'm sorry. What?"

  "I'm in the mood for a picnic for two. Will you join me?"

  "Can I get a rain check?"

  "Why not now?"

  She shrugged. "If you must know, looking around and seeing every woman here except me paired with a man who clearly adores her, doesn't exactly make me feel like going on a picnic with you."

  He stared at her. "You know how to kick a guy square in the balls. Don't you?"

  "Not my intention, but need I remind you that I really didn't want to come?"

  "What do you want me to say, Carae?"

  She shook her head. "Nothing. I just feel like going home now."

  "Fine." He rose and reached down to lift her none to gently to her feet. "Say your goodbyes and we'll leave."

  Although he was clearly annoyed, so was she. They walked out to his vehicle without speaking again. They made the first fifteen minutes of the return trip in a stilted silence before she spoke. "I have very little interest in kicking you anywhere, Brandon, but I just don't understand how you thought I'd feel surrounded by happy, committed couples."

  When he didn't respond, she turned to stare at his profile. His jaw was clenched and he projected an air of total annoyance.

  "I don't' want to say goodbye with us angry at each other."

  He shook his head. "I told you the night we met I was no good for you and that I had a lot of baggage. You said you could deal with it."

  She shrugged. "I thought I could, but..."

  "But what?"

  "But why should I settle for any less than the women I met today? I liked them all, but why don't I deserve what they have?"

  "I never said you didn't. I know you do."

  "But?"

  He sighed. "No buts, Carae. None. I know you do."

  His answer gave her conflicted emotions. She believed he was sincere, which made her want to give him another chance to commit to her. But that way probably lay almost certain heartbreak.

  "Just in case you're interested, Carae...I adore you as much as any man there adored the woman he was with."

  She closed her eyes. "Why do I want to believe you?"

  "Because it's true. And I didn't take you there to make you feel bad. I took you because, I wanted to show you I was serious about you."

  "Brandon—"

  "Do you ride?"

  "No. I don't."

  "Would you like to learn how?"

  "Riding a horse has never been on any of my to-do lists, so no."

  "We're a family of riders, Carae. We all have our personal mounts, along with a few horses for friends and guests who'd like to ride but don't have their own horses. I'd love to have you come for a ride with me."

  She sighed. It probably went without saying that Rissa rode. "Where do you keep your horse?"

  "At Randall's place. Come for a ride with me, Carae."

  "I think I mentioned the fact that I don't ride."

  "I have a big, powerful horse. He can carry us both. We'll keep it short and gentle."

  She moistened her lips and opened her eyes. "Brandon—"

  "Please come."

  What was the point of denying she wanted to say yes when he probably knew she wanted to be with him? "Okay, but..."

  "But?"

  "But I don't have time to waste waiting for you to decide how you feel about me."

  "I know how I feel and I've told you more than once that I adore you and I've even admitted I'm probably in love with you."

  "Fine. Then I don't have time to waste waiting for you to decide what you want to do about all this so-called adoration and probable love."

  "I just need a little more time, Carae. I know that's a lot to ask, but—"

  "But you're asking it anyway."

  "Ah..." He laughed. "Yes. I am."

  "You want what your married brothers have and I want what all the women there today had except me. Shouldn't that leave us on the same page, heading in the same direction, Brandon?"

  "Who says it doesn't?"

  "Our present circumstances."

  "Let's leave it for now and just spend the day getting to know each other better."

  "Why do I always want to do whatever the hell you want me to?"

  "Probably because you know I adore you."

  "Whatever," she said and closed her eyes.

  She heard his phone dialing. "Hi Hawk," a deep voice answered.

  "Hi Randall. Carae and I are heading to your stables for a ride."

  "How soon will you arrive?"

  "In about forty minutes."

  "I'll make sure everything is ready."

  "Thanks."

  "My pleasure, Hawk."

  "All set," he said, briefly touching her thigh.

  She nodded. "I heard."

  "And you'll come?"

  She sighed. "Yes, but after a brief ride, I'm going home."

  "Will you?"

  "Won't I, Brandon?"

  "We'll see, brown eyes."

  Chapter Ten

  When they arrived at Randall's stables, his horse was ready and Randall was getting out of an SUV. He nodded at Brandon and smiled at her. "It's nice to see you again, Carae."

  "You too," she said.

  "Benai asked me to tell you that she'd love to have you come to dinner some time." He handed her a card. "Here are her numbers. Please give her a call."

  "Thank you," she said.

  "She's looking forward to getting to know you. Actually, we both are." He smiled again, nodded at Brandon, and then got back in the SUV and drove towards a large mansion.

  "I swear if I look in the dictionary under hunk I'll see his picture."

  Brandon turned to smile at her. "There's no denying women find him and Peyton extremely attractive."

  She nodded. "He and Peyton must be two of the best looking twins in the country...right behind you
and Bancroft."

  "Most women would put me and Croft well behind them, Carae."

  "Would they?" She shrugged. "Then it seems most women's eyesight could use a little fine tuning. They seem nice enough, but they pale in comparison to you and the charming Bancroft. Besides, as handsome as they are, they have one fatal flaw."

  He frowned. "A flaw? Randall and Peyton? I think you're mistaken. They're both attractive and successful. In addition, they’re loyal and loving fathers, husbands, and brothers. What flaw can you possibly think they possess?"

  She reached out a hand to stroke her fingers through his hair. "They both lack a head of thick, beautiful, long hair like you and Bancroft have."

  "I like the way you think."

  "Oh, yeah?"

  "Yeah," he said.

  "What else do you like? Tell me more."

  "Everything."

  "What's included in everything? Don't be shy, sweetie. Elaborate."

  He laughed. "I like the way you look...the way you think...the way you feel...sound...your scent. In short, I like everything about you."

  She smiled.

  He took her hand, kissed her fingers, and then placed it on his mount. "Blazer, this lovely lady is Carae."

  She stroked him fearfully at first and then with growing confidence before finally turning to look up at him. "Oh, Brandon. He's gorgeous."

  "So are you, beautiful brown eyes."

  "If nothing else, you've got very good taste, sweetie."

  He smiled. "Ready to really make his acquaintance?"

  She looked up at Blazer. "He's gorgeous but he's very big."

  "Yes he is."

  "His size is a little intimidating."

  "Don't let it be. It's part of what makes him so strong and enables him to carry us both. Ready?"

  She stroked her hand over his flank again. "I think...yes. Yes, I think I am."

  "Good." He mounted Blazer and then reached a hand down to her. "Put your foot over mine in the stirrup and I'll pull you up."

  She inhaled and leaned close to rub her cheek against his body. "I'm counting on you to take things slow and easy, Blazer."

  "You can trust us both," Brandon assured her. "Take my hand."

  She obeyed. Once she was seated in the saddle in front of him, he gave her a moment to acclimate herself before urging Blazer into a slow amble.

  She gripped his arms, but remained silent. After a mile or so, he felt her began to relax.