Yours and Yours Alone Page 10
“Will you forgive me?”
“I’m having a hard time thinking of anything you’d do that I’d find unforgivable.”
He walked into the room and knelt by the bed. “I feel as if I’ve lost complete control of my life. You have the power to make me sublimely happy or to shatter me into tiny pieces too small to ever successfully reassemble.”
His words brought tears to her eyes. She slipped off the bed and knelt beside him. “Please understand. I’m trying so hard to do the right thing.”
“Why can’t the right thing be to leave him and marry me?”
“He’s a good man.”
“Damn it, so am I!”
The anguished look in his eyes made her ache. She touched his face. “I know that you are, but—”
“I love you so much it hurts. I always have. Every time I saw Bray kiss or touch you, another piece of my heart broke. And then when you married Hank, I lost all hope. Now you give it back just to snatch it away again. How can you do this to me knowing how much I love and adore you?”
She gulped in a sob while a tear trickled down his cheek.
“Do you have any feelings for me at all?”
“Of course I do! Do you think I would have slept with you if I didn’t?”
“I don’t know.”
“I’ve always had feelings for you—even when I was in love with Braden.” She leaned forward and peppered his mouth with kisses until his lips parted, allowing her to stroke her tongue against his. The contact ignited the sensual spark that had always simmered just beneath the surface between them.
When he rose and unbuttoned her blouse, she closed her eyes. The hard, sensual kisses he rained against her lips, neck, and breasts filled her with a hunger to feel him inside her again. Hard and raw. Nude and aroused, she slipped onto the bed, with her knees bent and her legs parted.
While he shed his shirt and undershirt, she rubbed her palm against his groin. Once he was hard, she freed his shaft and leaned over to kiss and lick the big head before drawing it between her lips and into her mouth.
He groaned but pushed against her shoulders. “No, no. That’s nice but I need to be inside you.”
She withdrew her mouth and helped him push off his pants and briefs. After he kicked off his socks and shoes, she smiled up at him.
He tumbled onto the bed and eased his shaft into her pussy. He groaned, burying his lips against her neck. “Oh god.”
She slid her hands down his back to grip his ass. “Raven...oh, Raven.” She ground herself against him and moaned with pleasure. “No matter what happens between me and Hank, you will always have a warm welcome in my pussy. Always.”
He lifted his head and stared down at her. “Are you offering me an affair?”
“Oh, god. You feel so good inside me.” She licked her lips. “I’m telling you that my pussy will never be off limits to you. Never. I can’t go back to not having you inside me. Raw. My pussy is yours to take and plunder whenever and however often you like.”
“Won’t it be a bit awkward if Hank’s in the bed at the time I come to plunder?”
They both laughed, sobered, and began a slow, sweet fuck so good she had to bit into his shoulder to keep from sobbing with pleasure. When he came, she tightened her vaginal muscles around him and eagerly and greedily accepted the jets of seed he pumped deep inside her.
Afterwards, they lay on their sides, kissing and touching each other.
“What are we going to do, cheré?”
“I’m going to tell him the truth.”
“What truth is that?”
“That I may or may not be pregnant.”
“You don’t think the pill will work?”
She rubbed her cheek against his shoulder. “I don’t know. I didn’t take it.”
She felt his tense. “Why not?”
“Because I want a baby. I wanted it with him, but you...there’s something you don’t know about me. Something I’ve never told anyone.”
“What’s that?”
“I’ve always had...a thing for you—even when I was in love with Braden.”
“I don’t know, cheré’. Sounds like revisionist history to me.”
“It’s not. Do you remember that time you asked me to talk you to sleep?”
He stroked his hand down over her ass. “It’s one of my favorites, albeit distorted, memories.”
“How it is distorted?”
“I know you kissed my cheek as I fell asleep, but sometimes, I imagined you did more.”
“How much more?”
“Climbed on top of me and kissed me until I came. I know that was wishful thinking, but when I woke in the morning, my pajamas were stained with cum.”
She turned on her side with her back to him. “I didn’t know you’d actually come, but...”
“But what?” He turned her back to face him. “Are you saying it actually happened and you never told me?”
“You think I was eager to confess that I’d sexually assaulted you while you slept?”
“What happened?”
“I don’t know what came over me, but I couldn’t stop myself. Once I tasted your lips, I...found myself humping you and kissing you again and again until I felt your cock hardening.”
He narrowed his gaze. “And?”
“I was afraid...if not for that fear, God only knows how far I would have gone.” She shook her head. “I can finally admit now what I wouldn’t have before. I wanted to straddle you and fuck you until you came inside me.
“And I was madly in love with Braden at the time. So you see, I’m no bargain.”
He closed his eyes.
“Raven?”
He shook his head. “Sexual assault isn’t any more acceptable from a woman than it is from a man.”
“I know, but you did say you wouldn’t hold it against me.”
“What the fuck, Kania? I don’t hold it against you, but I was asleep and didn’t give consent.”
She inhaled slowly. “You gave it before you fell asleep.”
“That’s not how that works.”
“So now you know that I am, in fact, slutty.”
“I don’t know any damn such thing.” He turned on his side with his back to her.
“Do you want me to leave you alone?”
“No. I don’t.”
“Can you forgive me?”
“Let's not have a repeat performance.” He turned back to face her. “But I can and will forgive you for anything. I never want you to leave. You are so damn fucking beautiful and I have never wanted or need a woman as much as I do you. But I’m not going to deny that it pisses me off that you didn’t wake me and never told me.”
“How could I without losing your respect and ...I was afraid you’d tell Braden. And I didn’t want him to think...I was afraid of what he’d think of me...that he’d end our relationship and I was so in love with him I couldn’t bear the thought.”
He shook his head. “As much as I wanted you, I wouldn’t have told him because I wouldn’t have done anything to interfere with his relationship with you. He loved and adored you then...almost as much as I do now.”
Flushing with a guilty pleasure, she reached across him to move Hank’s picture.
“No,” he said. “Leave it. Let him watch as I take what’s mine. You and your sweet, addictive pussy.” He urged her back between his thighs. “Ride me,” he encouraged.
As she lifted her leg to seat herself on him, her phone, in the pocket of her jacket on the floor rang. She froze when she heard Hank’s number and name announced. “Oh, God. We can’t.”
“Of course we can.”
“Raven—”
“He’s never going to want, need, or love you as much as I do.”
She stared down at him. “I—”
“Don’t think, cher. Just feel what we do together. It’s never been this good or intense with anyone else for me and I’m hoping you feel the same way. Making love feels so damn good because we were made for each oth
er. Don’t you feel it?”
What she felt was a lust for his hard, thick shaft and a need to have him inside her. Once more. Just once more.
Correctly interpreting her silence for consent, he rolled her over onto her back, rose over her, and slipped deep inside her.
She shuddered and clutched him close knowing that he was fucking her as Hank was probably leaving another message. But with his cock in possession of her pussy, sex with him was all that mattered.
As Hank called again and again, Raven fucked her to the slowest, most exquisite orgasms. One rolled into another and still he stroked deep inside her, clutching her ass, and kissing her until she had to drag her mouth away to breathe.
She came three times before he groaned and erupted deep inside her pussy. And lord she knew there were going to be consequences. And yet she eagerly allowed him to fuck her twice more.
“Oh, God, Elkhorn. What have we done?” She whispered when he finally eased out of her flooded pussy.
“We’ve done what people in love do, we made love. Now, sleep, my lovely cher cheré.”
She drifted to sleep with him sprawled across her body and his cum seeping from her bruised but satisfied pussy.
They woke just before dawn, went to the bathroom, and returned to bed to have sex again. She lost track of how many times they had sex over the next days. But each time felt more intense than the other and every time, she joyfully welcomed in back inside her raw.
Chapter Seven
AFTER A SATURDAY NIGHT of dining and dancing before returning to spend hours locked in Raven’s arms, Kania jolted awake from a nightmare alone in bed on Sunday morning. She picked up her phone and checked the time before scrambling out of bed. She’d have to hurry to make it to 11 a.m. Sunday service on time. After a quick shower, she returned to the bedroom to dress. As she did, her gaze lingered on Hank’s smiling picture.
The shame she had managed to suppress for the previous five nights surged to the surface. She’d willingly and sinfully slept with Raven and enjoyed every wonderful second of having him inside her. She’d surely sinned enough for a lifetime. No wonder she had a nightmare nearly every night. She’d probably continue to have them until she did something to atone for her mounting sins.
Even if Hank forgave her, would the Lord when she was so clearly practicing sin. She had never needed church more.
Raven, dressed in a dark gray suit with a black tie and white shirt, stood at the bottom of the staircase with a cup of coffee and a plate of toast. “‘Morning. How are you?”
She shrugged. “Tired.”
“From the nightmare?”
She frowned. “What nightmare?”
“You seemed to be having a nightmare just before I got up.”
“Why didn’t you wake me?”
He sighed. “I had one too and by the time I got myself together, you were sleeping peacefully again.”
“I just need to sleep tonight.”
“Instead of making love?”
She shrugged.
“Ok. Listen, you cut it a little close, but you have time for this before we have to hustle.”
“Thanks.” Placing the cup on the foyer table, she ate half the toast before drinking most of the cup. “Hustle for what? I don’t know about you, but I’ve never needed to hear the gospel more than I do today.”
“I thought I’d go with you.”
She hesitated before shaking her head. “That’s probably not a good idea.”
“Why not? Are Native American men unwelcome at your house of worship?”
“Of course not, but I don’t want people to think...”
“That we made love last night or that we’re going to do it again tonight?”
“You clearly have little regard for what I’m feeling.”
“And how the hell did you reach that erroneous conclusion?”
“I don’t have time to argue.” She picked up her house and car keys from the caddy above the table and walked around him. “I’ll see you when I return.”
“You’ll see me when we arrive at church together or do you think I’m godless?”
She swung around to face him. “Of course I don’t think you’re godless.”
He took the car keys from her hand and replaced them in the caddy. “Then unless you’re ashamed to be seen in my company, I’ll drive.”
“Fine. Let’s go, but you’re probably going to regret it.”
“I don’t think I’m ever going to regret spending time in your company.”
She didn’t know if he did in fact regret accompanying her, but she certainly did. They arrived late and sat towards the back of the church. The subject of the sermon was the nature of God’s love for man and his willingness to forgive truly repentant sinners. Near the end of the sermon the pastor discussed the difference between a single transgression and a pattern of sin, which an unrepentant sinner would find the Lord less inclined to overlook.
At that point, she felt certain the pastor was speaking to her directly. She didn’t dare glance at Raven but struggled not to squirm in her seat. Finally, the service was over. As they rose after the final prayer, she spoke to him in a whisper. “Sorry you came?”
“No. I’d eagerly walk through the hottest fires of hell just for the chance to sit next to you, no matter how uncomfortable the circumstances.”
She briefly met his gaze and saw his sincerity.
Instead of remaining to fellowship as she usually would, she spoke briefly to the pastor and exited the church with Raven at her side.
“Hey. Where’s the fire?”
As Raven unlocked his car, she heard Rena’s voice and turned to find her walking towards them.
“Where’s Ryan and the kids?” she asked, after they hugged.
“They were at the morning service,” Rena answered before slipping her arm through Kania’s and Raven's. “Do you two have any plans for the rest of the day or can I tempt you to spend it with us? Does the thought of spending time with three kids under the age of eight leave you quaking in your boots, Ray?”
“Not at all. I'm an uncle to five kids all under the age of five.” He smiled. “I can’t even recall what my life was like before they came along and made me their devoted uncle.”
“Great.” She turned to look at Kania. “Brunch and dinner with us?”
“I have a better idea. Why don’t I have the kids for a sleepover? You and Ryan can have a date night. Pack their overnight bags and I’ll give them breakfast and drop them off at school and daycare in the morning.”
Rena arched her brow, glanced briefly at Raven and then back at her. “Seriously? Don’t you two want—”
“Seriously. It’s been over two months since I had them overnight and I’m missing them.”
“They’re delightful. Of course you miss them, but—”
“You could use a break.”
“True, but—”
“Have them ready by five. We’ll do dinner, a movie, and bed.”
Rena hesitated. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.” She kissed Rena’s cheek. “See you later.”
“Afraid to be alone with me?” Raven asked when they were back in his car.
“Yes,” she admitted, keeping her gaze straight ahead.
“You don’t trust me?”
“I don’t trust myself.” With three young kids in the house, she would not be tempted to sleep with him. “And I really do miss them.”
“Should I assume you’re going to kick my ass into the guestroom tonight?”
“They know and like Hank, even though their mother doesn’t. They know I’m married to him and they know married people sleep together.”
“So that’s a yes?”
“Yes, it is. Is that going to be a problem?”
“No. It’s not.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m not a boy. I can control myself.”
“That’s not what you said when you left week before last.”
“That’s becaus
e it had been nearly ten months since I’d...indulged.”
“Nearly ten months?”
“Yes.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously. As I said, I’m not a boy.”
She glanced at his profile. And she’d succumbed to temptation after less than six.
He shrugged. “Believe it or not, I’m no longer interested in having a lot of one-night stands with women I don’t at least like and respect.”
“Wow, but why didn’t you...”
“Why didn’t I what?”
“I’ve heard...you’ve been known to have Tasha and Kia flown out to wherever you were.”
“Oh, you heard, did you? Well, just so there’s no misunderstanding, although my clients sometimes provide access to their private aircraft, I only make use of it when I really need to. And, in case you haven’t heard, neither Tasha nor Kia are prostitutes. They are not at my beck and call. We meet when it’s mutually convenient not just when I want sex.”
She sighed. “I didn’t mean to imply that they’re...”
“Didn’t you?”
“Okay, maybe I did and for that I apologize.”
“You should know that you never need to be jealous of any other woman—at least not relative to me.”
“You think I’m jealous?”
“I’m hoping you are.”
And she was.
But he endeared himself to her by letting the subject drop. “Any chance I can take you to lunch before we settle in for a night of total mayhem?”
She laughed. “I’ll have you know that Rena’s kids are well behaved and yes, you can take me to lunch.”
“Great. Where to?”
She mentioned her favorite outdoor café. “How did you know what time service was?” She asked him while she pushed a burger around on her plate.
“I called Rena.”
“No wonder she wasn’t surprised to see you. What did you think of the sermon?”
He shrugged. “It didn’t change my plans. Did it change yours?”
She blew out a breath. “I believe that marriage is sacrosanct. I always have and I’m having a difficult time dealing with what I’ve been allowing and encouraging each night with you. Especially now that Hank is coming home.”
“Do you really still love him?”
She wanted to say yes, but if she did, would she really have succumbed so easily to Raven? Wouldn’t she have insisted Hank allowed her to accompany him? More importantly, wouldn’t she have followed him? Would she even now want to rush into Raven’s arms and kiss him until she couldn’t breathe?